Graduate School : The Interplay of The Scato-Patho Modes of Becoming What Always-Already Was
Read classics. Know Shakespeare. He’s important. Especially the one’s you’ve never read. Those are the ones to read. Read Faulkner and Joyce and Beckett and Joyce again. Learn to quote, just a few passages. Sound smart. Too canonical. Read Faulkner and Joyce and Beckett and Joyce again but then also read all the people who are not Faulkner and Joyce and Beckett and Joyce again. Look for things. Someone’s getting the shaft. Make a note. Be indignant.
Stop reading classics. Read essays. Essays prove things. Must sound smart. Learn phrases. Say “It creates the conditions for its own becoming.” Nobody knows what the fuck that means. Learn to nod and agree when you don’t know what the fuck something means. Sound smart. Read Shakespeare. He’s important. Especially the one’s you’ve never read.
Derridian, Foucauldian, Deleuzean, Nietzschian. Have a good last name. Good last names are important.
Embrace the colon. Titles need colons. People need colons too. Read essays. Especially ones with colons.
Make sure you have a long works cited page. Lots of good last names. Lots of colons. Show everyone that you have read Derrida and Foucault and Deleuze and Nietzsche. Or at least checked them out of the library. It’s okay if you didn’t read it all. Who has time? Time is confusing, especially in Faulkner and Joyce and Beckett and Joyce again. Time is everything. Being and Time. Nobody knows what the fuck that means. Be sure to nod.
If nobody nods when you talk it’s because they do not understand you. You are brilliant. You say smart things. You write titles with colons. You have read your Shakespeare. Even the ones nobody reads. Those are the ones to read.
I am a big fan my friend - keep up the good works. I read Watson.
ReplyDeleteThanks bro. That means a lot - can't wait to get back to Brooklyn.
ReplyDeletePretty hilarious, I want to write that title on the board or screen ("Graduate School: The interplay...") turn to the audience, and say:
ReplyDelete"I know this is all review, and I don't mean to bore you..."
Do as the master does is a good back-door exercise — I've done it with (some texts Coffeen once used): Queneau's Exercises and Lohren Green's Poetical Dictionary.
Clever, witty, and evocative. Nicely executed--I enjoyed this.
ReplyDelete@WTTVT - I must admit I was particular proud of the title.
ReplyDelete@Plas - Thanks man - And I responded to the thing you wrote about Dexter - which was very nice.